Friday, August 29, 2014
My faithful correspondent wrote:
“When I began e-mailing comments to you on your postings I never expected you to use many, if any. It is special to me that you can and do use them. It also shows me that you support my rationale concerning masturbation and pornography. I have said this before, it is significant to me to know two priests who support me, you and my friend. It is too bad there are not more like the two of you. I also enjoy reading the comments others make on what I’ve sent you and you have posted.”
My reply to him was:
“Thanks for your appreciation. Of course I support your masturbation and interest in pornography because they are part of that sexual fulfillment to which we all have a right, in John McNeill's terms.”
Of course, saying that, I realize that what bugs me and everybody all along is the formation we have had that actually amounted to a teaching that nobody had a right to sexual fulfillment. We were taught it, and it still hangs around as an aspect of almost everybody’s view of sexuality. What a revolution we need!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
John McNeill again. He neatly dismisses the idea that sex is about procreation. Sex is about play. That’s where every human being’s right to sexual fulfilment comes in. McNeill sees procreative sex as a type of work, the opposite of play. So, there, I read him as saying that sex is not about procreation and all those principles of the Catholic Church about no sex except in the context of procreation are sexophobic error.
What McNeill actually says is: “If human sexual activity is undertaken for the conscious purpose of procreation , it becomes another form of work.” In fact, to determne what he means by play, McNeill puts sexually activity in perfect parallel with dancing. Dancing is exuberance in the joy of the present moment, it does not look to the future, it is its own end. It is outside the tyranny of time, where, work is decidedly within the tyranny of time, creating for the future with the limited time we have to work at it in the present.
About dancing McNeill says: “What makes human activity play is the fact that platful activity has its meaning totally in the present moment. The perfect example of that is dancing. The activity of dancing takes its meaning totally from what is happening in the present moment with no reference to the future. The result is a joyful liberation from the tyranny of time.”
The problem with the traditional emphasis on sex for procreation is that sex ends up as a thing that we did not ought to have a sort of vibration of the nerve endings that is just coincidental to the act of procreation, which alone makes those vibrations valid. Never mind about that. Let’s have a load of guys around that know how to vibrate for the good that it is in itself.
Saturday, August 23, 2014
I happened to glance at John McNeill’s blog, something I have not done in quite a while, and I see that his thought has evolved. I can recall him saying in one of his earlier books that he just happened to think that sex belonged in a committed relationship.
Now he is writing about his latest book, giving a summary, and saying: “Every human being has a God-given right to sexual fulfillment.” That seems to me a very important principle. It is, in fact, the foundation of all sex-positivism.
He still maintains that: “Best sex is obviously two humans enjoying mutual sexual pleasure within a committed loving relationship.” That is also, perhaps, a principle that it is difficult to disagree with outright. However I would add that you should not take that principle and make it an obligation: that everybody should really be seeking to have sex only in a committed relationship.
McNeill recognizes that this ideal cannot always be achieved by the broken persons that we are. However, in that context, he makes the staggeringly positive and hope-filled statement: “Psychically wounded humans still have a right to sexual fulfillment to the best of their ability.”
McNeill places whatever sex we might have firmly in the context of the gospel. It ought to be other centred. If I use another person simply for my self-centred pleasure then I am not fulfilling the golden rule: not to do what is good for oneself but what is good for another.
When we play sexually, McNeill says, “We are entirely caught up in the pleasure of our partner. Our primary pleasure comes from the pleasure of our partner.” The growth to human maturity can be mapped out, according to McNeill, along the pattern of developing our sexual behaviour from the self-centred to the other-centred and most of our lives we are all somewhere in between the two poles.
Then really comes what I see as McNeill’s new openness of mind, embracing the sexual experience globally: “If all one is capable of is a solitary act of masturbation, then that masturbatory act, undertaken with gratitude to God for the gift of sexual pleasure, is good sex. Even better sex occurs when two wounded humans reach out to each other to share mutual sexual pleasure in a 'one night stand'…Even better still is the relation of two "sex buddies" that meet regularly for sexual fulfillment in the context of mutual friendship.”
Interesting because, in an earlier book, McNeill really condemned one-night stands. I have to admit that I, personally have had some very fulfilling one-night stands.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Same correspondent - part of a discussion we had between us about pornography.
He wrote: “Like you, I find it difficult to equate all the evils that people claim are directly related to pornography. I guess people look for things to blame when things go wrong and pornography becomes a ready source. These people having been taught that pornography is wrong and evil it is easy for them to say it causes divorce, rape, child molestation, etc. I was also taught pornography like masturbation, was wrong and evil I never view it as such. I found pornography erotic, sexually exciting, an enhancement to masturbation but it never made me think about rape, child molestation, destruction of the family. I agree with you, that fact it is forbidden is the cause not pornography itself.”
I guess that, if you think sex-positively, as I do, then pornography just fits in. Negative attitudes towards pornography are just an extension of negative attitudes to sex. If sex is recognized for the healthy human recreation that it is, then pornography is just part of the way of recreation and of celebrating the beauty and vigour of sex.
Of course, many of the objections you hear about pornography speak of the degradation of women. But, if your sexual orientation is enhanced masculinity then man on man pornography is just a wonderful celebration of masculinity and those who are enraptured by it.
Monday, August 18, 2014
As always I enjoy reading each and every one of your postings.
In the posting of July 14th your correspondent made a very valid point, It is natural for a man to want to be sucked. I have enjoyed having many women suck my cock. I have yet to have a man suck mine nor have I sucked off a man. While on vacation my fried and I came close to making it happen. I thought I’d worked it out to have us meet but alas it didn’t work. Your correspondent talked about tasting the cock you are sucking. When him and I first talked about me sucking his cock I told him I’d wear a condom incase he shot his load. I mentioned this to a guy I corresponded with in UK and he discouraged me from using a condom, he said you want to taste his cock. I think my friend and I are close to making it happen, he is willing to meet me near where I live. I think that is good advice about not wearing a condom for sucking. It serves no useful purpose and plastic against your tongue is not the same thing as your tongue feeling the outline and the contours of your buddy’s cock. I am sure that for the sense of bonding we are seeking your really need to have your mouth in direct contact with your boddy’s cock as you enjoy the caresses of intimacy he might give to your head and you enjoy caressing and feeling the power of his legs.
A question your correspondent asks, “Eat your own cum?” When I was young and limber and could get the head of my dick in my mouth I’d cum with pleasure and enjoy my cum. Even later when I could still get my cock over my mouth I’d love cumming and shooting into my mouth. I’ve even cum in a condom and sucked my cum out. Unfortunately that method usually find me less enthusiastic when it comes to doing it than when I was thinking about it. I think that only goes to prove my point that condoms and mouths do not really go together. To me it is the easiest thing in the world and very satisfying just to shoot my load into the palm of my other hand and eat it from there.
Your posting of August 2nd was right on. As I wrote to you long ago, I collect pornography, I use pornography, I love pornography. Pornography is both beautiful and sexually exciting. Pornography enhances my masturbation. In reading all your posting I missed while I was away the pornographic photo you posted with them added to the enjoyment of masturbating while I read. I began masturbating before I began collecting pornography.
At the risk of repeating myself, your blog has been a great encouragement to me to continue enjoying masturbation and the enjoyment of pornography and to continue my desire to suck my friend’s cock without concern that what I am doing is wrong but is normal and natural. I think this is probably what I consider it my mission to help men achieve.
I don’t know what you can do with any of this as far as a posting goes (see above) but I wanted to comment on the postings that hit home, cock sucking, eating cum and drinking piss. Every variety of man to man erotic play interests me, even if I would not happily engage in absolutely everything that might come to mind. It is refresing and invigorating just to know what males enjoy doing with each other.