Thursday, May 19, 2016

Masturbation Month

May is masturbation month.  The need for such a month says something about our society and its history.  The professed aim of those who established the annual event is to promote masturbation, get rid of the taboo and guilt attached to it and promote discussion of the practice as healthy and normal.  Excellent aims in my opinion. 
My inner musings arose in the form of two questions: “Why should anyone not want to masturbate?” and “Why should anyone want to prevent other people from masturbating?”  The traditional approach of the Christian churches is enshrined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which states that masturbation has always been condemned by the Church and indicates that it is a practice to be overcome as far as anybody can.
True that represents a certain amount of liberalizing progress, because the Catholic approach used to be just simply that masturbation was a mortal sin.  Typically nobody ever tried to explain why.
What you have to remember is that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is not the inspired Word of God.  It comes down to human beings telling human beings what to do.  Hence my question: “Why should anyone want to prevent other people from masturbating?”
The people who do not want to masturbate, of course, do so out of a sense of asceticism.  But, as with food and drink, perhaps it would be better to settle for “nothing to excess”, because not masturbating at all is a type of human contortion that causes many people a lot of damage on the emotional and psychological level.
People talk about the health value of masturbation because it relaxes. But I think that the first value of masturbation is that it enables us to experience and be at home with our sexual masculine being.  There is also the fact that, with a bit of tantra, you can develop masturbation as a profoundly spiritual experience.


Saturday, May 7, 2016

The Catechism again.


I have been travelling and had another bout of illness.  That explains why it is three weeks since my last post.

I recently replied to an email from a guy who felt pressurized to conform to the teaching in the Catechism of the Catholic Church on homosexuality.

Below is the substance of my reply.

Briefly I understand the Catechism as saying that the homosexual orientation is not a disorder, but a little understood phenomenon.  Nevertheless the Catechism insists that homosexual acts are gravely disordered and can in no way be approved of.  


This I find difficult to swallow.  Medical and psychological sciences have stated that homosexuality is not an illness.  So the Catechism at least goes along with that.  But, if there is no disorder in the appetite or inclination then that inclination must be well ordered.  It seems to be built into people rather than being a disordered development.  The logic of saying that a man has a good appetite that he can never use, rather defeats my understanding.   It is difficult to see that the acts that correspond to the inclination do any harm in a mutually consensual situation.  Therefore it is difficult to see where the disorder in those acts actually comes from. 


I feel that there is an underlying principle that is part of a lot of people's mentality and that says that sex in itself is evil.  This is never formulated explicitly because it is just not Catholic.  This unspoken attitude has been most crudely applied in the case of masturbation.  There is nothing wrong with masturbation, in fact, except that it is sex.  The attitude that many have and do not even articulate to themselves amounts to: "We should not have sex except, reluctantly, for the sake of procreation."  That approach used to be terribly common among religious-minded people, even non-Catholic.  I feel we need a truly sex-positive approach and a lot of the energy put into avoiding sex could be used to develop love.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Nobody is Obliged to do Impossible Things

The Pope recently used a Latin adage: “Ad impossibilia nemo tenetur.”  He was using it in the context of telling Capuchins how to forgive in confession rather than being rigid with penitents. He said that people often could not get out of their sins because they were psychologically conditioned or imprisoned in a situation.   But it struck me that that saying “No one is held to doing impossible things” applies so manifestly to the situation of the enhanced male.  His focus on things masculine and all the urges that that implies are pre-conscious, sub-conscious and deep in his nature.  None of this he can change.  In order not to break his nature he must go along with his urges and realize his potential for bringing the joy of masculinity into other people’s lives.

Another thought: The Catechism enforces chastity on gays.  But chastity is incumbent on all Christians because chastity simply means keeping your sexual urges and practices within reasonable bounds.  In particular this means keeping your appetites in check so that in no way do they do harm to others.  People have a tendency to confuse celibacy and chastity.  Celibacy means not being married.  Members of religious orders take a vow which is called one of chastity that couples the practice of celibacy with the Christian practice of chastity.  As I come to reflect on this now, as I integrate my enhanced masculinity or gay nature, I can see that this does not necessarily amount to a vow to forego all sexual activity, which has long been the official interpretation of the state of consecrated celibacy.  We still have our sexual nature to fulfil.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Fulfilment

Everyone has a right to their sexual fulfilment.  That is a principle that I must have seen before in the writings of John McNeill, but it struck more forcefully only recently when I dropped into John McNeill’s blog.  It is a wonderfully liberating principle.  For religious with a vow of chastity it is particularly liberating because we were brought up to think that by our vow we renounced all sexual fulfilment. 


Experience shows that this just does not work.  For some, especially perhaps enhanced males, total sexual self-denial is very destructive of their nature as persons.  McNeill has a beautifully positive view of sex as a gift of God to human beings for their recreation and enjoyment.  McNeill makes his own somebody else’s summing up of the value of sex.  There is no such thing as bad sex.  There is only good sex, better sex and best sex.  The best sex, McNeill says, is in a loving long-term committed relationship.  Better sex is playing with somebody else.  Yes, even one night stands have their value and God rejoices to see his children enjoying themselves in this way. 
That leaves the category of simply good sex as covering solo sex.   As I have said before the sin in certain uses of sex is not in the sex itself but in transgressing the norms of love in some way, in the abuse of persons or of human lives.  Sex as such is always pleasing to God.  Mansex, I would add, is relatively free of the occasions for the transgression of way of love.  So, if mansex is your particular way of being sexually fulfilled, just get on with your fulfilment.



A corollary to everyone having the right to his sexual fulfilment would be that nobody but he is in a place to judge what he needs for his individual sexual fulfilment.  Provided that we do nothing contrary to the commandment to love one another we can do only good with sex.  Nobody else should condemn our sexual appetites or practices.  Another corollary might be that we have a duty in the sight of God to fulfil ourselves sexually, to use and develop the talents he has given us for our well-being and playful joy.

Friday, March 25, 2016

Reply to an Enhanced Male Married to a Woman

Thanks for writing.  I appreciate your need to share on these matters.
I would say that the main reason guys into mansex have issues with Catholic teaching on sex is that neither the appetite for nor the practice of mansex is supposed to exist according to Catholic moral teaching.  No matter how you read the Catechism it still says that homosexuals did not ought to exist.  Such teaching just flies in the face of scientific and empirical fact.  Men exist who need sex with men, so they have the appetite for it, and that they should fulfil rather than become human wrecks.


I see monogamy as concerning the marriage of one man with one woman for the purpose of begetting and bringing up children.  In the Catholic definition of marriage, the will to have children is essential to validate the marriage contract.  So that the sin against marriage is adultery which has the character of infidelity to the contract made with the one woman but is equally about the begetting of children in the wrong context for bringing them up correctly.  Essentially the sin is about procreating with another woman.  An underlying context, of course, is that sexual activity is inseparable and indistinguishable from procreating.  Sexual activity man to man is just not foreseen.  My contention would be that it ought to be.  
The problem is, (and you will find this somewhere on my blog), that women ought to enter into the marriage contract with the understanding that their man is going to have sexual activity with other men.  But society is not there yet.  Certainly, if the possibility of her husband entering into sexual activity with other men is not accepted at the time of making the marriage contract by the woman, she has the right to consider her husband as acting unfaithfully if he does so.  And yet you can see that the viewpoint can be very subjective.  I have heard of women who charged their husband with infidelity because he masturbated or watched porn.

For me, as you will see all over my blog.  Mansex is totally distinct from procreative sex and sex between men has a totally different signification from sex between a man and a woman.  The root meaning lies in the male to male bonding.  This, manifestly, is more necessary to some males than others.  But mansex needs discovering as a healthy value for society and even, perhaps, for married life.

For you as a married man it must be very difficult, like you say, to deny yourself your appetite for sexual interplay with men.  But, if she has found out and objected through inadequate understanding I guess you are rather at an impasse for the moment.  I know for a fact that there are homosexual venues where many of the clientele are married men.  You can tell, in particular, when the busy time in the place is between 4.30 pm and 7 pm on weekdays.  Manifestly, married men on their way home from work who cannot get to such a rendezvous later in the evening.  

Personally I do not see that as infidelity to their marriage vows, and the men might not either, but their women might see things differently.  I have no doubt also that many of the men, especially if they are Catholic, have a guilt complex about their activity in this sphere.  I would like to see men freed of every feeling of guilt in this respect.  But that would demand profound changes in the attitude of society in general.  Things are moving, but very slowly, in the right direction.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Nifty

My reply to somebody who wrote complementing me on my blog and asking whether I would consider writing for nifty.org.  

Thanks for writing about my blog.  I appreciate your support.  Thanks also for introducing me to nifty. I think I have looked in there before, but now I see what a wonderful resource it is.  I enjoy reading erotic writing,  I think sex-positively and believe we have to savour the beauty and spiritual way of mansex.  Unfortunately, I do not
have a lot of time to devote to such reading.  As for writing for nifty, it takes me all my time to write what I do for the one blog I barely manage to maintain, I have health issues and age to contend with, plus, I am still in a full time professional ministry!


The stories on nifty.org do me good.  I see there guys writing about their homosexual experiences, their desires and their fulfilment, their fetishes and appetites, as though they were a normal part of life.  This is liberating and even healing for people like me who were brought up with the sense that all sexual activity was shameful, wrong and sinful, only grudgingly allowed for the making of babies.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Unusual Chat

I am all too aware that I have not posted this year so far.  I was just unable to find the time, the energy and the inspiration.  I had to clear out most of the last 8 months comments because the whole section had been invaded by spam.
Recently I turned on Yahoo Messenger, which I had not looked into for months.  Up popped an old chat buddy and we had a great chat about our common fetish.  Not everybody's cup of cum but we all have our individuality in our sexual make-up and we have to respect each one's right.  Anyway I thought I might share this chat with my readers.  I have kept my correspondent anonymous.
Chat with Buddy
Buddy: Hi there long time no chat - are you better?
WESTERNFIRST: better but still not quite right.  had forgotten all about yahoo messenger
Buddy: Glad to hear - expect you have had a very quiet time
WESTERNFIRST: Well been pretty busy and having to take a lot of rest
Buddy: well hope you improve and get to have a better year and get dirty again
done a few bike rides in my dirty wranglers
WESTERNFIRST: Be great to share a bike ride with you in dirty wranglers!
Buddy: It would and by the summer hopefully they will be well dirty and smelly
WESTERNFIRST: Love to get my hands on the thighs and face in the crotch
Buddy: Been seeing a younger lad who loves me in them
WESTERNFIRST: great!
Buddy: To me jeans have got to be worn and scruffy
WESTERNFIRST: To me too.  How do they turn your young friend on and stimulate you to good sex
Buddy: He likes older men - I’m over 30 years older than him and dominate him - wear jeans and boots when I fuck him
WESTERNFIRST: Nice.  like to be there!
Buddy: Would be great - think he likes the image of an old bloke in dirty gear smoking a pipe
WESTERNFIRST: The sort of image that seems to turn a lot of guys on, especially if connected with sex
Buddy: Indeed - a couple of times I've taken him to a cruising ground and fucked him in front of other blokes
WESTERNFIRST: That's hot.  Did he get a kick out of it?
Buddy: He sure does - so do I- I get the kick out of being his boss
WESTERNFIRST: Good to know there are younger guys coming up behind us that feel the draw of filth as an expression of masculinity
Buddy: Absolutely- always has me - in filth the sex is harder and rougher
WESTERNFIRST: Harder and rougher is just better mansex, as I see it
Buddy: Sure is and getting any piss or shit on your jeans is a bonus
WESTERNFIRST: Sure, can make the sex drive more transcendental
Buddy: Sure does and the feel of dirty jeans on a young arse makes me fuck harder - as a biker all my life always worn that kind of gear
WESTERNFIRST: So he wears filthy gear too?
Buddy: He’s keeping a pair of jeans unwashed and gradually getting to like that. would be easier with a bike but he doesn’t ride yet
WESTERNFIRST: Man, you gotta lead him and guide him.  get him help you in your garage!
Buddy: I intend to - and make him submit to me completely - with discipline if necessary- get him to understand the sheer masculinity of wearing filthy jeans
WESTERNFIRST: You gotta get him to experience the sheer bliss of being in filthy jeans
Buddy: I have! - something i've known since I first had a bike at 16
WESTERNFIRST: You gotta get him realize it is something he is made for that not every man can value
Buddy: That’s the idea - I realised i needed to wear gear like that at 16 - and understood why my dad always rode in that kind of gear
WESTERNFIRST: Those of us who have the gift need to cultivate it
Buddy: Exactly and help others to appreciate why you need to wear it
Buddy: And the enhanced sexual pleasure
WESTERNFIRST: Guess there are guys that would feel the urge or the interest and fight shy of it
Buddy: I am sure there are- when I first had a bike most guys wore filthy jeans - it was normal - sure some still want to but are afraid almost
WESTERNFIRST: Guess to some men getting dirty kind of sullies their self-image, and all the more so if it is for the sake of sex
Buddy: To me sex has always had to have that dirty edge to it  - first time I had sex with another guy also in dirty jeans I was hooked
WESTERNFIRST: Wonderful moment!  Men in filth have always appeared to me as more masculine
Buddy: Oh yes - and you knew they had a good man stink
WESTERNFIRST: I have always liked the smell of grease to overpower the man-scents
Buddy: Oh yes greasy jeans mixed with piss is very erotic
WESTERNFIRST: Certainly with you on that one
Buddy: Was normal when I was young to piss on fellow bikers as a bonding thing
WESTERNFIRST: Fucking hot!!
Buddy: Oh yeah not necessarily gay ones - all did it, Dad and I pissed on each other’s jeans
WESTERNFIRST: Well it all depends how you define gay.  we are talking about man to man bonding.  That can never leave out the sexual dimension.  A man's man can still be a woman's man, but there are some that are exclusively one way or the other
WESTERNFIRST: Not sure that a strictly woman's man would let another guy piss on his jeans
Buddy: Absolutely but I think a lot of guys into the hyper masculine image and feel they need to show it. In biker circles it used to be pretty common years ago
Buddy: But then many bikers swung both ways
WESTERNFIRST: Yeah.  I have known guys for whom a guy in jeans meant absolutely nothing.  They were all for women.
Buddy: Fucking right mate - but women don’t understand the NEED for a man to wear filthy stinking jeans
WESTERNFIRST: Sure, that's why men into filthy men are on a special plane
Buddy: They are and usually the sex is much better and more satisfying
WESTERNFIRST: I cannot even begin to imagine and compare what sex with a woman is like.  For me its all tied up with masculine communion.
Buddy: I've done both and with men it is much more harder and so much more satisfying - men know how to satisfy another man
WESTERNFIRST: Sure the whole damn thing is on a different dimension
Buddy: And for me it was from an early age - loved the smell of my dads work overalls and jeans - used to wank into them regularly
WESTERNFIRST: Did exactly the same thing myself.  probably told you before.  Interesting thing is it was not something I had to learn, it was something innate that just welled up from within me.  I think my dad cultivated filth on his work overalls as well.
Buddy: I just had to do it - and I know my dad felt the overalls and especially his jeans looked  better for him if filthy. Thy had all sorts of filth and stains on them anyway
WESTERNFIRST: Me too.  Knew that in just getting into my dad's filthy overalls I would get as hard as hell
Buddy: The same here and just cum anywhere on them. Used to do it in his jeans as well - think they were even dirtier
WESTERNFIRST: Used to lie down on the coal heap and hump off in my dad's old discarded filthy overalls!
Buddy: I did that as well !! - or sit in an old chair in the shed and do it
WESTERNFIRST: This was before jeans had even made their appearance in Britain, but the first time I saw a pair - on a local coalman, I was hooked!
Buddy: Bit younger than you so dad had jeans when I was 11 or 12 - mid 60s.  After his divorce was all he wore - he got me my first pair then as well - even at that age felt horny as fuck
WESTERNFIRST: I was about 8 when jeans first appeared in England.  I'm 73 now.  Forgotten how young you are?
Buddy: Almost 63 so they were around in the 60s pretty common then. Plus most guys seemed to wear them pretty tight as well
WESTERNFIRST: I can well recall those days.  But they were already sexy in the 50s!
Buddy: pre divorce mum wouldn’t let him wear them!!
Buddy: As soon as he was single again he sort of changed
WESTERNFIRST: First thing I looked for when a male appeared was to see whether he was wearing jeans.
Buddy: Oh same here- when going home from school on the bus used to look out for men in jeans - all ages
WESTERNFIRST: Yeah there were all sorts of people didn't seem to want to see guys in jeans for years
Buddy: Yeah after he divorced dad got much more into biking again and the jeans just got dirtier
WESTERNFIRST: On the bus used to go upstairs at time men were coming home from the steel works and sit next to the guy with the filthiest tightest jeans
Buddy: i've done that and to smell them and look at the crotch. I know when I got my first really tight pair around 13 or so spent most of the day wanking
WESTERNFIRST: Same here, about same age, a cheap black pair with green stitching
Buddy: Dad bought me a pair the same as his - think were wranglers
Buddy: Soon as I was 16 I had a small bike and the jeans were got filthy
WESTERNFIRST: From an early age I had all sorts of ways of getting filthy around the builders' yard where my dad worked
Buddy: Sure you had great fun doing that - was an engineering apprentice from 16 so jeans could get dirty quickly - wore to work but were under overalls
Buddy: Engineering was a lot dirtier back then
WESTERNFIRST: Always had an eye out for the guys in engineering shops and garages when the doors were open in the summer as I passed!
Buddy: Same here - but used to see a fair few guys I fancied when I started work - but before that really fancied some of my dads biker mates
WESTERNFIRST: Did you let on?  Did you get any response?
Buddy: With a couple and one was the first who fucked me when I was 14
WESTERNFIRST: How did you feel about that?
Buddy: I led him on and it happened in his garage - played a couple of times before he took me
WESTERNFIRST: Guess he was a bit older than you
Buddy: Quite a bit - think in his 40s
Buddy: To begin with felt each other and I sucked him and we both came on the jeans
Buddy: Then eventually after playing with my ass he fucked me
WESTERNFIRST: Just great.  I always wanted my men to be real men.  never into boys
WESTERNFIRST: Nice memories
Buddy: Oh it was and went on for a few years
WESTERNFIRST: wonderful!
Buddy: He was the first of a few bikers I had
WESTERNFIRST: Great to have had on going experience as you grew up.  that was what I lacked
Buddy: Gradually realised that the biker scene was really hyper masculine and while most were straight a fair few really got off on the way they looked and smelt!!!
WESTERNFIRST: Good that you were able to integrate it
Buddy: Yeah then things and life changed a bit - gave up the bike for several years
WESTERNFIRST: Ok.  so what did you do for sex in that period?
Buddy: The usual I suppose - looked around gay pubs became more common to play got into leather as well
WESTERNFIRST: Understand the pull of leather!
Buddy: That got me back into bikes again - mixes well with dirty jeans
WESTERNFIRST: Yeah, two glorious sources of turn on!
Buddy: Indeed, and as I got older became a nasty hard leather top
WESTERNFIRST: I can admire such
Buddy: Yup feel the need to dominate and control younger guys and teach them
WESTERNFIRST: A worthwhile project
Buddy: Sure is, all the time i am still sexually active

WESTERNFIRST: Hope all your energies will keep going for a long time