Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Truly Christian.

In the comments on my post “Following the Spirit” the discussion has been intense about how to make our enhanced masculine play truly Christian.  8 comments so far.  Never had that many on a single post before!  It is gratifying to know that I am giving guys a place and a space to air their questions and attempts at solutions to the problems and pressures we all feel.
I hope everybody will read these comments for themselves.  However, the summary of my thought on the points raised would be as follows.
The crucial thing is to keep faithful to Jesus’ command to “Love on another.”  The practical application of this all the way down the tradition and underlined by St. Benedict is: “Do not do to another what you would not have done to yourself.”  Our man to man play must therefore be sensitive to all the dimensions and issues raised in the comments, especially by Sebastianus.  Our man to man play must always be perfectly consensual and between adults.  There must be no abuse of minors or vulnerable adults, nor must there be any taking advantage of positions of professional trust.  In any of that we fail in the commandment of love, we put our self-interest before the good of the other.  Similarly we must not intrude uninvited on an established and possibly closed relationship.  We need, as Christians to respect the other, his fidelities and his commitments.  The context of life in a religious community that Sebastianus raised specifically is very particular.  I would see no problem with man to man play between religious provided it could be done without upsetting the balance of community relationships, and that might not be easy to achieve.  You would kind of need the whole community to accept the possibility of such behaviour within its framework, and that is not very likely at the present time, given the prevailing thinking within the Churches on homosexuality.
Dave touches on the thorny problem of the Catholic position, shared by the Muslims, incidentally, that there is nothing wrong with the homosexual orientation, but the acts are big-time sin.  I cannot see how this is supposed to work.  If a guy has a gratuitous and good natural propensity, what is he meant to do with it except put it into act?  So, guys, get on with your erotic play, consider it good, enjoy it freely, provided you respect the limiting circumstances outlined above.  Fucking, sucking, jacking man to man, like so many things that are good in themselves, are not good in all circumstances, but, all things being equal, can be channels of Christ’s command to love one another.  It can be just as respectful of Christ’s law of love, to do these things with a casual buddy as within a deeply loving relationship.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


The wonderful depth of sharing by Dave and Tim, the way guys have shared about their married situation and their Enhanced Masculinity has brought me to reflect on my own situation more clearly.  Years ago I took a vow of chastity, because everybody did on entering the religious life.  Like everybody I understood it as a commitment to complete sexual self-denial that was supposed to make Christ your sole love.  The fact is I was never able to live that degree of abstinence.  I always masturbated on a nearly daily basis.  Over the years I have come to realize that I was made as a person to live a different type of chastity.  I have always had this acute awareness of masculinity in myself and in others, with a sense of communion and exhilaration.  Ultimately I have come to realize that I was built to serve The Fuck, that basic, wonderful man urge.  This I now see as my way of chastity.  It is my sex urge consecrated God. It still respects the basic understanding that invented the vow of chastity, that of not being committed to a wife and family but being free for the Lord.
Interestingly enough, I have long realized that I shared this fascination for masculinity and its sense of communion between males with my father who was very much, in the parlance of the day, “a man’s man”.  Unfortunately I left home at 14 and my father died 14 years later, so we never got to know each other as adults to be able to share on this level.  Though I am sure I know how he felt about men.
It is undoubtedly a good thing that this blog affords us the opportunity to share about our lives and experiences at some depth with each other.  That in itself is healing and must be part of a a process of opening up the world to the true nature of Enhanced Masculinity.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Following the Spirit.

 Dave shared something of himself in his comment on my post, “Whole Men.”  He remains married and has his gay partner.  I certainly agree with the priest that encouraged him to follow what the Spirit was saying in his life.  Much harm is done in the name of religion in trying to force everybody into the same mould.  God is the master craftsman who moulds us all individually.  It is we, finite and small-minded, that can only create things by following the instruction booklet.  God is above all that.  Dave asks himself the question whether he is an adulterer.  For me a guy commits adultery when, being married, he goes with another woman.  Marriage may be about love and relationship, but it is also about procreation and family.  Going with another woman touches on both dimensions of marriage in a way that going with a man just does not.

As I have said right from starting to talk about Enhanced Masculinity, what goes on man to man is better not even being called sex.  Sex should be reserved for what couples the two sexes, because the very word “sexus” (latin) defines itself necessarily in terms of complementarity.  Male to male is something apart.  What a man does with a man is plays erotically.  It is not really having sex even though it involves the sex organs of one of the sexes.  Psychologically, it is very different, too, but Dave is in an excellent position to tell us all about that.

Sunday, November 27, 2011


A contributor to a yahoo group called “Christian Cock” made the following brilliant assessment of society’s attitudes: “Whatever one does sexually should be done with consideration for the other person; the ultimate point of sex is pleasure, after all. There is no reason why men cannot learn and teach the pleasures of the male body without harm to anyone. It is the lack of understanding of the pleasures of the body that cause so much of the trouble in society, causing ours to be an anti-sex, pleasure-phobic culture.”  I would further submit that chastity is enjoying that pleasure and not suppressing it.  The problem, of course, is that we have all imbibed from our Christian upbringing not only that sex is wrong, except for the one tiny exception of procreation, but also that pleasure is suspect.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Liberated by Internet.

On “Masturbation is Chastity” Sebastianus made another important point: “It's laugh-out-loud ridiculous, quite frankly, that we even have to be pointing all this out.”  I feel you cannot help but agree with this remark.  But we are at the opening of a new era brought on by the advent of the internet.  Before we were hooked up in this way we, homosexuals, had little alternative but to sit isolated in our little corner with our guilt and fear and our internalized homophobia and think that we were all alone in our oddness.  Thanks be to God, the Lord of Communication, who has opened up for us a way out of this prison.  We have to point all this out to each other because we have been the victims of misinformation and de-formation.  The remedy is information and reformation and it has to begin with the discovery that there are so many people out there made like me, endowed with enhanced masculinity, and that they are struggling like me to explain and come to terms with it, and have reached similar conclusions to me, that, fundamentally, Christianity has failed to observe and integrate a positive element in the composition of humanity, that of Enhanced Masculinity.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Inner Reconciliation.

Tim commented on the “Thanksgiving” post.  He is living a moment of mourning and inner growth provoked by losing his stepfather.  My thoughts and prayers are with him.  Then he says he hopes he will not be judged here and condemned.  I hope that nobody would ever feel judged and condemned by this blog, even if I had to say that I could not go along with another guy’s thinking, I hope I should always be able to allow him the right to his own opinion.  Though I would begin to distance myself at the point where I felt a guy’s proposals were aimed at deliberate hurting of others.  
Then Tim expresses his inner struggle over the tension he feels between his desire for a life of deeper commitment to Christ and his homosexual desires and yearnings.  He has felt that he needs to give up the one in order to adopt the other.  I guess that the whole point of this blog is to give enhanced males the message that they do not need to give up their homosexual yearnings and practices in order to embrace Christ and vice versa.  We can find Christ in our male to male bonding and that can be as fully erotic as any guy can desire or imagine.  Of course none of us has yet reached the full reconciliation of these two elements (not to say “opposites”) yet.  We are only at the pioneer stage of overcoming the deformation we have absorbed from our Christian upbringing.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Essential Jacking

On “Masturbation is Chastity” Sebastianus wrote: “I can testify to the fact that jacking off is absolutely essential to my mental and physical health. I simply feel stronger and happier after I've had that primal release. I am a better Catholic religious, more faithful to my prayers and my daily work, because of it.”  I feel grateful for his testimony as to how masturbation works for him. Sebastianus further remarked: “This is just how God made us men. He gave us dicks, and he wants us to love them and use them, for God's sake! We don't need some moral theologian to tell us this. We know it because we live in our own skin and we know what we need to be sane, healthy, integrated people.”   
Thinkers like John McNeill have already said that we need to listen to what the Spirit is saying to us through our own experiences and , what, as Sebastianus observes here, our whole being, as God-created enhanced males, is telling us.