Friday, January 31, 2014

Sex and Love

A guy asked me for advice.  He is partnered with another guy in a relationship that has endured many years.  He jacks off with other guys on the phone and online.  His problem was that he was going through a phase of remorse and anxiety.  He feels that he has somehow let his partner down through his activities with other guys.  Of course everything depends on the understanding there is between two guys in a relationship.   
But my reply to this guy was: surely your partner cannot expect you not to jack off solo or, generally, away from him.  Just because he is your partner does not mean that he owns your sexuality.  You are his partner, not his sex-slave.  Personally I do not see why any partner should be concerned about his man jacking off, sharing fantasies with other guys where there is no physical contact, or using porn.  But it is not for me to impose my ways of thinking on any partnered man.  
It seems to me that our make up as enhanced males can be quite complex and we all have a great variety of turn ons and attractions, to say nothing of fetishes.  Guys partnered with others will have to realize that there is nothing wrong with them if they cannot fulfil all the erotic needs of their partner.  Above all not being able to go along with a partner’s fetish need not interfere with a true deep love person to person.  Sex and love are distinguishable.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

More than Bonding

Another comment on the same post, “The Great Good” came by email.  Read your posting of the 23rd this morning. I agree with your comments that masturbation is very important in affirming our male makeup. I also agree that there are two approaches you can take, accept masturbation and hope the urge will get less and maybe go away or the traditional approach, consider masturbation as a indiscipline or a sin. I like your other approach, a need to masturbate. Long ago I rationalized that masturbation was normal and rational . Since then I have masturbated without guilt or concern. As you indicated, take away the guilt from guys masturbating individually and you lift the guilt of guys playing together erotically. 
When I first enjoyed playing with my friend Jim’s genitals I felt no guilt, it was two masturbators enjoying each other’s cock and balls and masturbating each other, expressing their close friendship in a special way. As I‘ve written before, I now have a desire to enjoy sucking his cock which we both look forward to.”  The idea that mutual masturbation is two men expressing their close friendship in a special way is very positive indeed.  You could also think it out in another way: mutually masturbating is an activity that can start or foster a close friendship.

Sunday, January 26, 2014


Commenting on my post “The Great Good”, Whkattk shared his thoughts, and I think it is a particularly beautiful thought, giving an encouragingly positive view of the meaning of mansex or enhanced masculinity.  

 He said: There's an element you barely touch on in this post... That of the connection made between men when they engage in sexual play. Subconsciously or not, men form an understanding - a spiritual connection, if you will - that this other man, this playmate, has the same desires, hopes, and dreams. His make-up is so similar that it forms a bond that will override any thought or inclination to harm him; increasing a sense of brotherhood, further depleting the chance that he would make war upon him. Just my thoughts on the subject.”   

I have never seen the idea of male bonding so sensitively developed.  I particularly like the idea that if men fuck each other they are way less likely to kill each other.  This makes the acceptance of male on male sexual practice an important step forward in the development of world peace.  It is an odd thing that the Christian Churches do not have a really good record down the ages of history in promoting peace not war.  It is odd because of the dynamic of Christ’s call to and message of peace.  “Peace be with you.”  But is the Christian Churches’ strange and obsessive, and repressive, doctrine on sexual morality somehow tied in with this?  It is a kind of perversion to make people feel so guilty about having sex and not in the least guilty, about killing people in war.

Friday, January 24, 2014


Cecil Chao, Hong Kong Billionaire, Doubles Reward To Any Man Who Can Turn Lesbian Daughter Straight.  I saw this headline on Huffington Post the other day and found the whole concept quite revolting.  But it just shows how deep the prejudices still are in our society against homosexuality.  It turns out that the daughter in question is happily partnered with another woman and is active in the gay rights movement in Hong Kong and founder of Big Love Alliance.   
 The daughter’s comment to the Daily Mail was: “I understand that he loves me.  It is just that he’s from another time and it’s difficult for him to understand the plight of the LGBT.”  The problem is that there are so many people from another time and a lot of them are way younger than Cecil Chao.  Why cannot the world accept that men are going to have sex with men, and women with women and that this is in no way a threat to the institution of marriage in the procreational meaning of the term, viz. Holy Matrimony?

Thursday, January 23, 2014

The Great Good

We always need to affirm, for ourselves, our masculinity.  Unfortunately we have been taught to ignore it, and especially deny its key core, the sexual dimension.  Masturbation is certainly very important in owning and affirming our male make-up.  Therefore masturbation becomes a very important spiritual exercise.  A religious was asking me for advice recently about his habit of masturbation. 

 As I reflected, once again, on the question, it became clear to me that there are, as I see it, two possible lines you can take.  Either you accept to masturbate and hope that your urges will gradually get less, that you might eventually get over it.  This is, more or less the traditional approach, which sees masturbation as either an indiscipline or a sin.  The other approach you can take is that I experience a need to masturbate.  It may be that not every male is made like that, but I am.  

 Therefore, I get on and practice masturbation to the best of my ability, freely and without guilt.  It occurred to me at that point in my developing reflections, that the Catechism of the Catholic Church actually supports both of these approaches.  

 Of course, as I have always maintained, once you lift the guilt from guys masturbating individually, you lift it from guys getting together to play erotically.  I have said it before, and I will say it again, erotic man to man play is a great good that the world needs.  It is the full application of the gift of enhanced masculinity.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


I saw this passage from Martin Luther King the other day, Martin Luther King day, in fact.  He is talking about the attitude of religious leaders to segregationism and black people’s rights.  It struck me that it could be applied now to those who need to step out of religious conformity to support the right of men to have sex with men.  


Is organized religion too inextricably bound to the status quo to save our nation and the world? …I am thankful to God that some noble souls from the ranks of organized religion have broken loose from the paralyzing chains of conformity and joined us as active partners in the struggle for freedom. They have left their secure congregations and walked the streets of Albany, Georgia, with us. They have gone down the highways of the South on tortuous rides for freedom. Yes, they have gone to jail with us. Some have been dismissed from their churches, have lost the support of their bishops and fellow ministers. But they have acted in the faith that right defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. Their witness has been the spiritual salt that has preserved the true meaning of the gospel in these troubled times. They have carved a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment.