Monday, June 30, 2014

No Hetero Imitation.

I was struck by Lenny’s comment on my post “Heart”.  First of because he is either a new commentator or, at least, one that does not comment often.


He wrote: “You have given an excellent description of what one social psychologist called the tenderness taboo. This taboo continues to take its toll on the relationships between men. Another phenomenon which co-exists with this taboo has been the imitation of heterosexual role playing in our relationships with each other. We are not male to female but we are male to male. Quite a different basis for our relationships to each other.”  

The “tenderness taboo” puts into one neat phrase the difficulty that we men need to get over.  It is good to hear Lenny say that the taboo continues to hold sway even today, because I thought I might be writing about a phenomenon that was somewhat outmoded.  Lenny’s second point is an approach that I have tried to put across right from when I started talking about enhanced masculinity.  The very nature of man to man sexual relationships is totally different from man to woman and nothing about man to man should be modelled on man to woman paradigm.  
 Society needs to unpack the riches of man to man eroticism and the world should be better for it.

Saturday, June 28, 2014


Catholics just celebrated the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  We tend to focus in that context on the compassion, mercy, kindness and loving senstitivity of God as made incarnate in the man Jesus.  


I had this reflection: that, personally, I grew up in a culture that did not allow men to show any tenderness or softness.  The male had to maintain his stiff upper lip at all times.  I suppose this staunchness of the male’s strength was looked to as a type of support to the female in moments of crisis.  Anyway the net result was a society of males where to be manly was to show none of the tenderer emotions. 

Especially, males were never expected to show any tenderness one towards another.  I can now see enhanced masculinity as offering something of a remedy for this.  Men have feelings that they can share with one another, that are quite different from the feelings that women have and unload on men.

What I am trying to describe, the repression of tenderness in the male was never so acute in the latin cultures as it was in the frozen north.  I remember being deeply impressed by seeing an Italian Papa standing with his young son – five or six year old – with his arm around him introducing him to the shrine of Santa Francesca Romana.   

My immediate reflection was that you would never see a Dad back home showing such affection for his son.  I know my Dad never hugged me or kissed me when I was of any conscious age.  It was understood that you kissed your mom and shook hands with your Dad nothing more.

This was all over forty years ago and times have changed, thank God.  But I still wonder whether some of this restriction that society put in the past on males showing feeling one to another did not have some deep effects on those with a homosexual make-up.  Perhaps this is at the bottom of some of our fears and feelings of internalized homophobia. 

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Reconciling Gayness and Religious Beliefs.

Patrick’s comment on my “Programme” post.  I am grateful for his appreciation.  When I reflect on how I am put together sexually I can see that this mission of opening up the enhanced masculinity world to Christians is something that I was created for.  I have a remarkable degree of built-in enhanced male sensitivities.  I have had the experience over many decades of religious formation trying to suppress, yes, from within, all my sexual impulses.  But, somehow, I have come through – I like to think that it is by Divine Grace – to be able to accept and take it all positively, at least potentially, for I am conscious that I still have a long way to go along the road of true liberation. 

Patrick wrote: “You have done and are continuing to do a very great service to the gay community, especially to those gay men who are trying to reconcile their gayness and their religious beliefs. You have my complete support, if the support of an old gay man is of any importance. Many thanks for all that you have done in sharing your insights into the sexual lives of the sexually enhanced male.” 

I note his remark about an old man.  I ain’t no spring chicken myself!  As to religious beliefs, we have to get back to basics.  What matters is closeness to Christ and to forget the idea that the first idea in his head is that all that matters is what we do with our dicks.  Christ is interested in how we love one another, how we give ourselves for one another as he did.  Sex with men is only good in so far as it fits in with this.  It can certainly be a vehicle of human sharing, and it merits no outright condemnation as being wrong in itself.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Get Sex Positive

I recently congratulated a life-long friend of mine on coming into the modern world.  He had bought a laptop, or rather him and his partner had bought him one, because television in the country they live in was just rubbish.  So the idea was that my not too mobile friend was going to be able, with a computer, find entertainment to his own likes and satisfactions.   

 Of course, the couple is gay.  Well, about 48 hours after this laptop came into residence I heard from my friend’s partner (who is, naturally, a dear friend of mine also), that my friend had discovered the “naughty” side of the internet, and had been up till 1.30 am on x-tube and gay-tube.  My reply was “good for him.”

For me there are interesting elements in this development.  That word “naughty” for example speaks volumes.  Most ordinary people have just been programmed to think that sex is out of bounds, taboo, did not ought to be.  Then, the fact that my friend was blown away by the attraction of free porn in his home environment where he felt completely safe from censorious eyes also has a lot to say about the sex-starved culture in which we live, or, perhaps, to which we submit ourselves.  If you start from the principle that “sex is good” you get a whole different world view developing. 
I recommend it as a spiritual exercise.  Tell yourself repeatedly, several times a day, that sex is good and encourage yourself to pay attention to, develop, and embrace all your sexual inclinations in a totally positive way.  When I am feeling erotic, when I am arousing my erotic impulses, I am doing a good thing that releases valuable energies into society.  It is contrary to the way we have been trained but it is the way we have got to go.

Of course, we have to contend with the society around us that remonstrates with us, more silently than vocally, telling us that all that ought to be in private and as though it did not exist.  It would be counter-productive to try and shake these people out of their attitudes and there are elements involving other people, their beliefs, sensitivities and responsibilities that have to be respected.  But we can all do what we can towards establishing a sex-positive and enhanced-masculinity-positive world.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

The Programme

A sort of résumé.

What do I see as the spiritual programme for the enhanced Christian male?

To enjoy mansex.

To revel in artistic expressions of mansex and masculinity.

To masturbate.

To cultivate the body to erotic ecstasy.

It is all spiritual, but, even more so, if done in a spirit of prayer and communion with Our Lord Jesus Christ.  I am convinced that this is what he wants at this stage of development of the Church in response to the development in human consciousness of the value of enhanced masculinity.