Thursday, December 1, 2016

Changing the World

I have been listening recently to the rantings of homophobes and to people within the Church arguing against gay marriage.  It strikes me that none these arguments will ever be solved until people as a whole can see enhanced masculinity for what it is, something that is totally distinct from heterosexual sex and procreative marriage.
  Mansex is about two guys identifying with each other in every aspect of their being, which is necessarily male and sexual.  To share and play on this level needs to be recognized by all as a value in itself.  

It needs to be recognized by every level of society that every man has a right to have adult and consensual sex with other men.  Relationships that superficially resemble those of heterosexual marriage, strong male friendships, can be built on the mansex experience, certainly, but, fundamentally it is a mistake to think out homosexuality in parallel with heterosexuality and marriage between a man and a woman.
  In the whole field of inter-male eroticism there is no question of procreation and this makes a universe of a difference.  Homophobes and those who condemn gay marriage do not see this and probably do not want to see it.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Erotic Play

I had this thought: Not to give time to enjoying your bodily sensations is wrong, is unchastity.  We have to take time out to play the erotic zones of our body.  The practice is needed for both psychological and spiritual health.  Down the centuries a lot of ideas contrary to this have been hammered into people as forms of asceticism.  This has been very harmful.  If we ignore our body, our erotic self, we ignore, deny about fifty per cent of ourselves.  We finish up distorted or half alive personalities.  This is against truth and, therefore, against chastity.
Then I thought, well, what do I mean by our erotic zones.  I know that I get sensations of pleasure and electric energy that go through my body when I finger my tits, caress my balls, stroke my cock, palm the inside of my thighs, but perhaps other people can get the magic working through playing other zones.  So I googled "male erotic zones".  Largely I discovered from something from the Times of India that it could be almost anywhere, if the touch, the caress was sufficiently delicate.  A reference to the scalp as an erotic zone recalled to my mind the time I got tremendous pleasure and comfort from a guy wearing combat pants who gently fingered my scalp for about an hour while I sucked on his cock.  A very satisfying experience.

But, then, that's just it.  You cannot do it all yourself.  So get out there and enjoy yourself with other guys.  The energies created will help the whole world.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016


There have been some very valuable reflections recently in columns and comments about that veneration of the male urge some call self-pleasuring, others self-loving, others masturbation.  Particularly encouraging is the sense that comes across from the discussion of the rightful place of the practice of venerating the male urge in our indwelling of our sexual nature as men.

AOM wrote it “Is not a defilement.  It is a Joy and Bliss and Beauty.  It is deeply connecting intimately with ourselves, Physically, emotionally, and Spiritually.  It is the Foundation of our Sexuality.  So, if you can, let’s take the time today (and every day) to make love to yourselves.”  What I particularly like there is the notion of deeply connecting intimately with ourselves.  Such a connection enables me to say: “I am male.  I am a fucker.  I have the man urge.” 

What ‘David’ one of the readers of AOM is quoted as contributing to the debate is particularly valuable because he addresses head on the devastating religious principle we were all brought up on that outlaws masturbation as not being an act of procreation, the only valid application of sex.  For most of us that principle stopped us going anywhere near masturbation, you hardly dared to do a second time any action that began to get you hard.  David starts off by rebutting the idea that self-pleasure or solosex is only second best.  He sees solosex as absolutely pivotal.  He says it is the most intimate expression of knowing ourself.  That brings us back to that basic notion of self-connection that AOM talked about and reminds me of John McNeill’s principle that there is no such thing as bad sex, there is only good sex, better sex and best sex.  In that scheme solosex is good sex.  But David is now saying that solosex is not a substitute for the better types of sex.  It is what it is, a value in itself.  I find that a progression in thought on the subject.  David further spells out the trauma wrought on our very being by our religious upbringing: “Those who believe sex is sinful and should be limited to “procreation only” are probably the most separated from knowing themselves in this intimate way.” 

I applaud this acclamation of the value of knowing ourselves incarnated in solosex.  David enlarges on the damage that so many of us have felt caused by the guilt complexes and self-torturing over masturbation.  He says: “They are almost afraid to explore this erotic territory because of the chaotic and uncontrolled energy involved and the blinders religion has put in them.”  I hope that, henceforth, we will all be able to exult in the chaotic and uncontrolled energies we release as we exercise the erotic veneration of our masculinity.  David acclaims it as “liberating” and I agree.  David is not exalting solosex above sex with others, but he wants it to be seen as on an equal footing.  His conclusion is particularly enriching: “Those of us who are willing to surrender to our own erotic energy and explore our sexuality as pure “recreation” know how exciting and enriching the experience can be.”

I hope we will really be able to embrace veneration of our male urge by solo eroticism as a way of creating ourselves anew whenever we need it.

Then there is ‘French Patrick’ who brings out beautifully how solosex is a deeply spiritual activity.  He defines it as a religious tribute to yourself. 

Sunday, October 2, 2016

At Home in our Sexual Being

I had this reflection on masturbation. 
Masturbation enables us men to be in touch with ourselves as completely sexual beings.  It is health-giving because a man needs to know and experience what he is as a man. 

For this reason masturbation is to be recommended and in its fullest tantric forms.  That said, sexual play with other men takes the self-recognition of our sexual being to a new plateau.  

It is one level of acceptance to own oneself to oneself as a fully sexual masculine being but this is completed by owning oneself or having oneself acknowledged as fully a man by other men.  

Simply for us all to be complete beings, in the mode in which we have been created, we have to enter into all the practices of our enhanced masculinity.  It would be a different world if all men were fully at home in their sexual being. 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Comments on the Comments

As part of his comment on my post “Obsessive”, Xersex made the statement “For me sex is life.”  To me that is a wonderful thing to hear.  An enhanced male who has got it integrated.  If only the world was full of men who recognized that there is no life without sex.  Unfortunately, most people still live with sneaky feelings about sex, that it is not quite right, urges you have that you do not talk about, activities you try to hide, inclinations you have that you do not even let yourself know about.  That is the fruit of the way most of us were brought up and it is the result of pressures that society puts on us.
I thought that our friend from the “Big Whack Attack” made a very important point.  I especially like the way he separates out sex and love.  This, really, is the point from which I started in all my thinking on enhanced masculinity.  He wrote: “My take on "obsession" differs. Yes, the heterosexual community thinks that homosexual men are obsessed with sex; they label the gay man as promiscuous, or worse.

Yet, it is simply not true. Gay men are just like all other men - The libido is the same. Take a look at the straight men, hanging out in clubs and bars looking for sex. Look at the straight men who patronize the day spas and gay bathhouses looking for sexual release.

The sexual instinct is no different. The urge is no less nor more. The big difference is that modern societies have roped us all into believing that we are supposed find and cling to one other individual, "foresaking all others" within the bonds of Holy Matrimony. The gay man has been (and still is) denied this opportunity. Therefore he is free to act upon his sexual urges, this most basic of instincts, with as many different partners as he chooses. He is free to engage in sexual activity whenever a willing partner is found, rather than having to wait for his spouse/partner/girlfriend to acquiesce.
Things may change when mainstream society understands that all men - if given the opportunity - truly think of sex as a means of satisfying the need for release, as an entertainment, rather than a bond of love. Sex and love are not, cannot be the same thing.”

I think it is crucial that we separate out and distinguish carefully the values of sex and love.  First of all, we have to see sex as a value in itself.  Above all we have to ditch the idea that sex is only to be enjoyed within the framework of civil unions.  The value and beauty of sex is to be enjoyed in itself.  Sex is to be cultivated for its own sake, especially in the context of man to man sex which is of a completely different nature from hetero-sex.  Sex, again I am thinking principally of mansex, can be part of a one to one personal commitment.  But sex and commitment are not the same thing.  However, let us not fail to notice that sex however casual has an element of love in the evangelical sense, something I do for the good of my fellow man.

Monday, August 29, 2016


Many of us enhanced males may feel that we are obsessed by mansex, and we probably are.  Many straight people may feel that enhanced males are obsessed by sex, and they are probably right.  But the reason that we are obsessed by sex is that we have been indoctrinated, brain-washed, educated, or just imbided the idea that mansex is wrong.  We have to counter that, in particular for the liberty of future generations, who should see mansex as perfectly good, by freely practising our mansex.  We have been indoctrinated with the idea that God does not want us to enjoy our sexual being.  This can only
be false.  God wants us to be happy and our sexual fulfillment is part of that happiness. The only thing that concerns God is when we use our appetites to the detriment of others.  For sexual appetites the supreme examples of this are adultery and fornication.  In the context of mansex those do not arise, but we can offend against the value of persons by not respecting their
liberty and taking advantage of the underaged or vulnerable.  For the rest, we have really got to seize as gospel, as good news, that mansex is good and God leaves us free.  Even, God rejoices in our pleasure in sex.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Normal or Not

People will tell you that the Catholic Church does not condemn homosexual people.  This is true at a certain level.  It is what the Catechism tries hard to say.  But when you look more closely at the way the Catechism is formulated, you realize that, despite itself, it still condemns homosexual persons because it recognizes them as not normal.
More precisely the Catechism sees their homosexuality as a burden they have to carry.  More explicitly we enhanced males are seen as having an urge to mansex which can never be fulfilled.  So we are still condemned by the Catechism not only to being abnormal in our urges but also to a life of hard-to-bear suffering because of our abnormality.  This is hardly to say that the Church does not condemn homosexual persons.

The Catechism thus has two parts to its treatment of homosexuality.  The first is that homosexual persons should not be discriminated against.  The second is that homosexual acts (not specified more than that) can never be approved.  The Pope has recently spoken in serious support of the first part of the Catechism.  All discrimination must be avoided.  He has not ventured into the second part about homosexual acts.  You might say that he has tiptoed in that direction because he has said, “Who am I to judge?”  Normally you judge a person on his acts, not on whatever has been built into him as a person.  
For the Pope to not judge homosexual acts is, in fact, venturing far closer to not condemning homosexual acts than most Christians are prepared to go.  
So I thank God for Pope Francis’ lead.  Unfortunately, however, the Pope’s vocabulary does not stretch to appreciating homosexuality as a valid alternative sexual orientation.  He speaks of people who “have this condition.”  Now, a condition is something outside of normal; we use the word of illnesses and disorders.  So that the Pope’s lead on not discriminating against homosexuals runs into a bit of self-contradiction as long as he continues to regard homosexuality as a "condition".  He needs to discover the language of Enhanced Masculinity!

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

The Key

In commenting on my last post, I thought, Big Whack gave good summary of the benefits of masturbation.  He wrote: “Masturbation is a profoundly important component of health, both mental and physical.  It not only relaxes us, eases tension, it lowers blood pressure, it reduces the risk of heart attack and prostate cancer.  It helps us sleep; as Arianna Huffington said to Bill

Maher, “It’s nature’s Ambien.”  You’ve hit the nail on the head as to why there is a need for a dedicated month.  We need to admit that we, as humans, are sexual beings.  It is buried deeply into our DNA.  The urge for men especially outpaces the availability of procreational outlets, or sexual partners – the common sense solution is to masturbate.”  
I have been reflecting since that masturbation is really the key to everything when re-thinking Christian attitudes to sex.  I have actually reflected on all this several times before on this blog, but each time one addresses these things you get a little bit of new insight, I guess.  

Masturbation is the key because, once you admit that there is nothing wrong, nothing sinful, about masturbation you make a statement about the nature of sex.  Basically you say that sex is good in itself and only circumstances in which it harms others make it evil.  The supreme examples of sex made evil consist, traditionally, in procreating offspring for whose upbringing you can in no way take responsibility.  That is covered by adultery and fornication.  The first thing to realize is just how far from that evil is the beauty of mansex.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Masturbation Month

May is masturbation month.  The need for such a month says something about our society and its history.  The professed aim of those who established the annual event is to promote masturbation, get rid of the taboo and guilt attached to it and promote discussion of the practice as healthy and normal.  Excellent aims in my opinion. 
My inner musings arose in the form of two questions: “Why should anyone not want to masturbate?” and “Why should anyone want to prevent other people from masturbating?”  The traditional approach of the Christian churches is enshrined in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, which states that masturbation has always been condemned by the Church and indicates that it is a practice to be overcome as far as anybody can.
True that represents a certain amount of liberalizing progress, because the Catholic approach used to be just simply that masturbation was a mortal sin.  Typically nobody ever tried to explain why.
What you have to remember is that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is not the inspired Word of God.  It comes down to human beings telling human beings what to do.  Hence my question: “Why should anyone want to prevent other people from masturbating?”
The people who do not want to masturbate, of course, do so out of a sense of asceticism.  But, as with food and drink, perhaps it would be better to settle for “nothing to excess”, because not masturbating at all is a type of human contortion that causes many people a lot of damage on the emotional and psychological level.
People talk about the health value of masturbation because it relaxes. But I think that the first value of masturbation is that it enables us to experience and be at home with our sexual masculine being.  There is also the fact that, with a bit of tantra, you can develop masturbation as a profoundly spiritual experience.

Saturday, May 7, 2016

The Catechism again.

I have been travelling and had another bout of illness.  That explains why it is three weeks since my last post.

I recently replied to an email from a guy who felt pressurized to conform to the teaching in the Catechism of the Catholic Church on homosexuality.

Below is the substance of my reply.

Briefly I understand the Catechism as saying that the homosexual orientation is not a disorder, but a little understood phenomenon.  Nevertheless the Catechism insists that homosexual acts are gravely disordered and can in no way be approved of.  

This I find difficult to swallow.  Medical and psychological sciences have stated that homosexuality is not an illness.  So the Catechism at least goes along with that.  But, if there is no disorder in the appetite or inclination then that inclination must be well ordered.  It seems to be built into people rather than being a disordered development.  The logic of saying that a man has a good appetite that he can never use, rather defeats my understanding.   It is difficult to see that the acts that correspond to the inclination do any harm in a mutually consensual situation.  Therefore it is difficult to see where the disorder in those acts actually comes from. 

I feel that there is an underlying principle that is part of a lot of people's mentality and that says that sex in itself is evil.  This is never formulated explicitly because it is just not Catholic.  This unspoken attitude has been most crudely applied in the case of masturbation.  There is nothing wrong with masturbation, in fact, except that it is sex.  The attitude that many have and do not even articulate to themselves amounts to: "We should not have sex except, reluctantly, for the sake of procreation."  That approach used to be terribly common among religious-minded people, even non-Catholic.  I feel we need a truly sex-positive approach and a lot of the energy put into avoiding sex could be used to develop love.

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Nobody is Obliged to do Impossible Things

The Pope recently used a Latin adage: “Ad impossibilia nemo tenetur.”  He was using it in the context of telling Capuchins how to forgive in confession rather than being rigid with penitents. He said that people often could not get out of their sins because they were psychologically conditioned or imprisoned in a situation.   But it struck me that that saying “No one is held to doing impossible things” applies so manifestly to the situation of the enhanced male.  His focus on things masculine and all the urges that that implies are pre-conscious, sub-conscious and deep in his nature.  None of this he can change.  In order not to break his nature he must go along with his urges and realize his potential for bringing the joy of masculinity into other people’s lives.

Another thought: The Catechism enforces chastity on gays.  But chastity is incumbent on all Christians because chastity simply means keeping your sexual urges and practices within reasonable bounds.  In particular this means keeping your appetites in check so that in no way do they do harm to others.  People have a tendency to confuse celibacy and chastity.  Celibacy means not being married.  Members of religious orders take a vow which is called one of chastity that couples the practice of celibacy with the Christian practice of chastity.  As I come to reflect on this now, as I integrate my enhanced masculinity or gay nature, I can see that this does not necessarily amount to a vow to forego all sexual activity, which has long been the official interpretation of the state of consecrated celibacy.  We still have our sexual nature to fulfil.

Monday, April 4, 2016


Everyone has a right to their sexual fulfilment.  That is a principle that I must have seen before in the writings of John McNeill, but it struck more forcefully only recently when I dropped into John McNeill’s blog.  It is a wonderfully liberating principle.  For religious with a vow of chastity it is particularly liberating because we were brought up to think that by our vow we renounced all sexual fulfilment. 

Experience shows that this just does not work.  For some, especially perhaps enhanced males, total sexual self-denial is very destructive of their nature as persons.  McNeill has a beautifully positive view of sex as a gift of God to human beings for their recreation and enjoyment.  McNeill makes his own somebody else’s summing up of the value of sex.  There is no such thing as bad sex.  There is only good sex, better sex and best sex.  The best sex, McNeill says, is in a loving long-term committed relationship.  Better sex is playing with somebody else.  Yes, even one night stands have their value and God rejoices to see his children enjoying themselves in this way. 
That leaves the category of simply good sex as covering solo sex.   As I have said before the sin in certain uses of sex is not in the sex itself but in transgressing the norms of love in some way, in the abuse of persons or of human lives.  Sex as such is always pleasing to God.  Mansex, I would add, is relatively free of the occasions for the transgression of way of love.  So, if mansex is your particular way of being sexually fulfilled, just get on with your fulfilment.

A corollary to everyone having the right to his sexual fulfilment would be that nobody but he is in a place to judge what he needs for his individual sexual fulfilment.  Provided that we do nothing contrary to the commandment to love one another we can do only good with sex.  Nobody else should condemn our sexual appetites or practices.  Another corollary might be that we have a duty in the sight of God to fulfil ourselves sexually, to use and develop the talents he has given us for our well-being and playful joy.