Thursday, September 22, 2016

Comments on the Comments

As part of his comment on my post “Obsessive”, Xersex made the statement “For me sex is life.”  To me that is a wonderful thing to hear.  An enhanced male who has got it integrated.  If only the world was full of men who recognized that there is no life without sex.  Unfortunately, most people still live with sneaky feelings about sex, that it is not quite right, urges you have that you do not talk about, activities you try to hide, inclinations you have that you do not even let yourself know about.  That is the fruit of the way most of us were brought up and it is the result of pressures that society puts on us.
I thought that our friend from the “Big Whack Attack” made a very important point.  I especially like the way he separates out sex and love.  This, really, is the point from which I started in all my thinking on enhanced masculinity.  He wrote: “My take on "obsession" differs. Yes, the heterosexual community thinks that homosexual men are obsessed with sex; they label the gay man as promiscuous, or worse.

Yet, it is simply not true. Gay men are just like all other men - The libido is the same. Take a look at the straight men, hanging out in clubs and bars looking for sex. Look at the straight men who patronize the day spas and gay bathhouses looking for sexual release.

The sexual instinct is no different. The urge is no less nor more. The big difference is that modern societies have roped us all into believing that we are supposed find and cling to one other individual, "foresaking all others" within the bonds of Holy Matrimony. The gay man has been (and still is) denied this opportunity. Therefore he is free to act upon his sexual urges, this most basic of instincts, with as many different partners as he chooses. He is free to engage in sexual activity whenever a willing partner is found, rather than having to wait for his spouse/partner/girlfriend to acquiesce.
Things may change when mainstream society understands that all men - if given the opportunity - truly think of sex as a means of satisfying the need for release, as an entertainment, rather than a bond of love. Sex and love are not, cannot be the same thing.”

I think it is crucial that we separate out and distinguish carefully the values of sex and love.  First of all, we have to see sex as a value in itself.  Above all we have to ditch the idea that sex is only to be enjoyed within the framework of civil unions.  The value and beauty of sex is to be enjoyed in itself.  Sex is to be cultivated for its own sake, especially in the context of man to man sex which is of a completely different nature from hetero-sex.  Sex, again I am thinking principally of mansex, can be part of a one to one personal commitment.  But sex and commitment are not the same thing.  However, let us not fail to notice that sex however casual has an element of love in the evangelical sense, something I do for the good of my fellow man.